Number 5: Connor Pain – 24 minutes
Caps: One
July 28, 2013. 3-4 defeat (on 66′) against China PR (EAFF East Asian Cup)
It was a whirlwind time for Connor Pain, who burst onto the A-League scene as a substitute in a derby and had some good appearances thereafter. He put in a monster shift for Victory in a friendly against Liverpool and earned a Socceroos cap. It happened during the East Asian Cup, a weird tournament from an Australian perspective as it included lopsided qualifying results against minnows (even Aziz Behich scored goals) and poor performances against more formidable opposition in the main draw with a mostly experimental side.
Connor Pain hasn’t reached the same heights, struggling last season and not capitalising on his pre-season form in the ’14/15 campaign, despite scoring two goals. Another Socceroos cap may not be on the cards for a while.
Number 4: Billy Celeski – 22 minutes
Caps: One
January 28, 2009. 0-0 draw (on 68′) against Indonesia (Asian Cup qualifier)
Yes yes, that photo is what Celeski used to look like. The talented midfielder was always well regarded in Australia’s domestic leagues, without seriously being touted for international stardom. He was involved in the same Asian Cup qualifier against Indonesia as a number of other players in this list, around the time that Pim Verbeek was trying out A-League players and bemoaning the lack of the league’s quality. The results didn’t stand to prove the Dutchman wrong.
Injuries aside, Celeski proved himself as an important cog in Victory’s midfield, and was missed by many fans after a (not undeserved) big money move to the Gulf leagues.
Number 3: Leigh Broxham – 19 minutes
Caps: One
March 22, 2008. 0-0 draw (on 71′) against Singapore (Friendly)
Leigh Broxham was a Soccerroo before it was cool to like him – i.e during his post-Ange Postecoglou form. If you think Adrian Leijer’s 27 minute cameo against Singapore makes for an inconspicuous Soccerroo career, Broxham’s stint in the same clash was even briefer, coming on in the 71st minute for a 19 minute runaround in the scoreless contest.
Number 2: Kristian Sarkies – 14 minutes
Caps: Two
June 22, 2008. 0-1 defeat (on 83′) against China PR (World Cup qualifier)
June 7, 2006. 3-1 victory (on 83′) against Liechtenstein (Friendly)
Split over two caps, coincidentally and supposedly 7 minutes in each game. That equates to the same amount of stints at different clubs he’s had since leaving Victory. At least Sarkies was one of the few players in this list to be involved in a Socceroos victory.
Number 1: Nik Mrdja – 8 minutes
Caps: One
September 11, 2007. 0-1 defeat (on 82′) against Argentina (Friendly)
A fitting winner of this briefest Socceroos stint countdown, considering Mrdja’s brief Melbourne Victory spell, which seemed to end as soon – and in the same controversial circumstances – as it started.
Imagine bringing on a nearly 30-year-old Mrdja for a Socceroos debut against an Argentinian side boasting the likes of Javier Zanetti, Carlos Tevez, Javier Mascherano and young Lionel Messi and Sergio Aguero. Now stop imagining it, because it happened. For the record, Martin Demichelis scored the game’s only goal, so it wasn’t that bad.
Lineup:
