The Banter Flag: A-League’s back!

by Jordan Lim 0

It’s fresh blood on the banter block this week as we’ve brought in Melbourne Victory Supporters very own Bryce Clayton to talk about the start of the A-League campaign tomorrow with absolutely no bias whatsoever. Right in the banter.

Jordan Lim (JL): Lets preface this whole chat by mentioning that we’re all Victory supporters.

Sean Ellicott (SE): Technically I’m not. I like both Melbourne sides. I also like fences on a complete tangent.

BryceManU

Mark Gojszyk (MG): Jordan, we all know you’re a closet City supporter too, what with your love of Villa and all.

Note: Our flog editor is an Aston Villa supporter, while everyone else goes for the Red Devils. He often sits in the corner by himself.

SE: Yeah it’s all about the Red Devils, just ask Bryce and his Facebook profile picture. (Left)

Bryce Clayton (BC): Hey, I’ve perfected the downwards camera shot, what of it? It even cuts 10 kilo’s off the shot. Year 12 wasn’t kind to me; study+snacks=bye bye body.

*Everything goes quiet for a little bit, and suddenly our chat is inundated with this* 

Brycebanter
(L-R) Mark flog, Sean flog, Jordan flog

MG: Jordan, is that a black eye or just a shadow?

BC: That’s how you keep the staff in check aye Mark? Also Sean, nice to see someone else has perfected the downwards shot.

SE: Hey I have a sister, what can I say. I know this stuff well!

JL: What’s her name? I need to know for ah… Mark.

SE: She’s married with two kids.

JL: It’s ok, Mark likes a challenge anyway!

BC: So this is what I signed up for? Wow…

MG: Haha yes, we should probably steer the ship back on track, so in saying that, what do you lads recon of our chances against the Wanderers tomorrow? Playing the devil’s advocate, I can’t see Victory putting a goal past the Wanderers. Popovic’s defensive structure is so good he can make any defender look good. Ubay Luzardo even.

SE: We expect completely unbiased answers from you Bryce from Melbourne Victory Supporters by the way.

BC: Victory will put at least one past Covic if not more.

MG: I started reading that as Victory will put at least one past Coe.

JL: Shots fired, at the wrong end.

MG: But yes, you that confident in the Berisha and co.? *chuckles* And Coe?

BC: Very! In fact, tell you what, if Covic keeps a clean sheet, I will write an article talking up Melbourne City without any Victory bias.

JL: You’d probably sneak in an acrostic poem down the side knowing you. Read downwards to see ‘One team in Melbourne’.

MG: What’s an acrostic?

JL: Mate, learn to second grade English.

*With the help of several diagrams, slide shows and a number of the world’s best linguistics experts, Mark finally ‘realises’ what an acrostic is*

MG: Ohhhh, I get it… *smiles politely*

SE: Well this segment is more of a wreckage than a ship, but lets get it semi back on course.

MG: Our [Victory’s] Round 1 results don’t make for good reading

BC: We’re different this year. Just like the Heart/City fans say every year before they fail miserably again.

SE: Top banter.

JL: I guess the question is which way it’ll go. Will the Wanderers have one eye on that Champions League final and take the foot off or will it be the opposite? They’ve had more high intensity, high quality games than anyone else, which could work in their favour?

BC: Wanderers to be cautious of injuries and to take it a bit slow, especially with players out on international duty.

MG: Tomi Juric pulled out of the Socceroos camp, but will he make a surprise appearance on Friday? Or maybe his groin injury will still be bothering him.

Note: It was 45 minutes worth of Simpsons clips on YouTube later before I finished the rest of this article. 

SE: “Barney’s movie had heart, but football in the groin had a football in the groin.” But in all seriousness, pick Barney’s. I mean, I pick a draw.

JL: Ah yes, predictions! I’m going for a 1-1, Gui Finkler to rescue a point late with a stunning free-kick.

MG: A narrow 1-0 loss I’m afraid, Wanderers to get over us on day one.

BC: Victory 213 Wanderers -4

SE: The banter is real in this one. Also before we finish, how about that Lucy Zelic, Mark sure did have some nice words to say about her.

Marks nice words on Lucy Zelic

MG: She liked my article, what can I say? Plus we gained a follow and a reply from the legend herself! Call me a trigonometrist, beause I found the right angle on that story.

JL: Recon she’d engage in a little bit of banter with us next week?

SE: Bryce for Lucy straight swap

BC: I’ll start walking now guys.